First- let me apologize to my Grandma for the curse words! 😊 I love you Grandma!
Ok, with that out of the way, being the best Badass, you is totally possible! Coming from experience, I know that sometimes it is easy to let the negativity of those around us influence the way we think and feel about ourselves. While I had great people in my life that encouraged me, I also had people in my life as I was growing up telling me that I would never reach my goals, I would never be what I wanted to be, and that I wasn’t enough. I spent most of my adolescent years and young adulthood trying to prove to people that they were wrong. However, their negativity rang loud in the back of my head and I let fear set it. It crippled me.
Fast forward, I took a job that I thought I would be able to make great change in and be an amazing asset to the company. I knew I could be even up to the day I left. However, I quickly was shoot down and emotionally and mentally wore down to the point I did not even recognize myself.
I eventually discovered this pattern and knew it had to change. I knew I had to regain my confidence and remember what I am capable of to be the Best Badass version of myself. At the end of the day I wanted to be someone that I was proud of and that my husband and kids could be proud of. So, I started making these three changes in my life and within no time, I was confident again and ready to part ways with the negativity.
I want to share these steps with you because inside us all is a really amazing badass person! Inside us all is someone who is capable of more than we ever thought possible, there is someone that is creative, someone that is utterly amazing. We may have just lost sight of them briefly and it is time to find them!
Are you ready? I am so excited to share these with you! They are simple, yet effective! Let’s start!
Stop Taking Advice from Negative People
What? You mean stop listening to that person who tells me I am stupid, irrational, dreaming too big, or unrealistic? Yep, I mean those people. Stop talking to the people that make you feel depleted, worn out, and like you ignorant. The person who does not have a good thing to say about any of your ideas.
Someone once told me to not take criticism from people you would not go to for advice. I pondered the difference for a while between criticism and advice and paid close attention to the reactions I would get when I would discuss ideas with different people.
What I noticed was that when I told certain people ideasor dreams I had, they would quickly offer ‘advice’ (that I did not ask for) and tell me why my plan would not work or what was flawed. They did not offer solutions and they did not offer alternative plans or actions to take.
Let me break it down for you a little more. Dictionary.com defines advice as “an opinion or recommendation offered as a guide to action, conduct, etc.” It also defines criticism as “the act of passing severe judgment; censure; fault-finding”. These two are easily mixed up and misinterpret when someone is always negative.
Stop going to people who do not know the difference. Do not go to anyone that cannot help you find a better solution or path to your dream. Instead decide on a course of action, review it, and revise it. Do this a few times and then go to someone who is positive in their advice. Someone who wants to help you grow and will build you up. Once I stopped going to those negative people, I stopped second guessing myself and trusted myself. If you cannot think of someone to go to, please message me! Avoid negativity as much as possible!
You know what you are capable of and you do not need anyone to validate your abilities but yourself. If you plan with action items on how to accomplish it, then you know you can complete those steps!
Give Yourself Daily Affirmations
I remember one time as a teenager standing in a mirror and complimenting myself on how great my hair looked. I said, “my hair looks beautiful”. The words I heard after that hindered my own view of myself for years and made me turn to others for validation. “You’re hair isn’t that great, stop being conceited. That is a sin”. Jaw drop, right? Looking back on it I remember exactly how I felt. I remember that I would not say outload to anyone what I liked about myself. Instead, when anyone would say that I was pretty, or looked nice, I flocked to them and relied on them to validate my feelings. It made me question my worth if I did not get a compliment one day.
Do you ever find yourself digging for compliments from coworkers, your partner, or your boss? I remember going to my supervisors in previous jobs telling them why I thought I was a good employee or what I was working on was good and getting one negative feedback and feeling like a failure. I really wanted them to affirm my efforts and when they did not, I doubted myself too.
Instead of relying on anyone else to give you the affirmations you need, tell them to yourself. You are not being conceited! I promise! You are speaking truth into yourself about the person God created you to be. You are speaking positivity into your life and filling yourself with confidence. We live out the words that we speak to ourselves. If you say “I can’t” do something, then we are already limited our ability to try. However, if you say “I can” instead, you are giving yourself permission to try and overcome that task or obstacle. Do not limit yourself based on fears that were put in you by someone else’s thoughts of you!
If you have no idea how to start with daily affirmations, do not worry. Below are 9 of my best Daily affirmations to tell yourself to help you build your self-confidence and start being the best Badass you! Be sure to click the link to get these and get started! Print them, cut them out and stick them all over your space, or just keep a screenshot and go over them daily!
Engage in Personal Development
Do you remember when Personal Development being referred to “Self Help” and everyone being so offended by this term? Who does not want to help themselves though? I mean, yes you are great but why not be awesome? Personal Development is not a punishment to point out your flaws or to make you hate who you are. It is to help you find your capabilities, expand your view, and help you grow. Personal development can look different for each of us.
Do you feel lost or that you are lacking purpose? I started with a Bible study to help reground me in my faith and work on my relationship with Christ. From there I began reading books on leadership, management, and so much more! I love personal development! It is a part of my daily routine now and I am happy to spend time in the Word and with a book that helps me grow as well. Your path my start differently, and that is okay, but start somewhere!
Below is a list of books that I highly recommend! Check them out and if you have any other suggestions please leave them in the comments!
- It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way
- Soulful Simplicity: How Living with Less Can Lead to So Much More
- The 5 AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life.
- Girl, Stop Apologizing (Audible Exclusive Edition): A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Do not be afraid to grow. Growing can lead to change which is often times scary. Change leads to new opportunities and relationships. After engaging in personal development, more than my faith changed. My marriage, my confidence, my drive, my creativity, all had changed. Be willing to evolve and grow.
Do not be afraid of yourself, to fail, or to grow. You have a really amazing Badass you inside, I can feel it, and I know you can too! Go find yourself again!